In the Fall....

I drove up to Colorado Springs this week for Madelynn's 3 month pictures. What a great time of year to drive in through this area. When we were going up we were always so busy and there would be different things my mom would want to do, like going to Bosque del Apache (I think that is what is was called), but there was never time for it all. So she would say she wanted to do it in the fall. We would seldom get all these things done so it became a joke. When there was something we wanted to do we would say, "Sure, in the fall, in the fall...". One thing we wanted to do was drive up north and look at the leaves changing.

Well, I got to see them on this drive and they were amazing. It was raining like crazy on my way up there, but you could see these golden ribbons intertwined in the evergreens as they worked their way up the mountain. It was breathtaking.

I pulled over to take some pictures, and as I did I took a deep breath and mixed in with the rain, was the faint, sweet smell of the train that had just past. And in that moment I could feel a huge hug from my dad. I could hear him saying, "Hey kido, what's up? How have you been? I've missed you." My mind began to flip through all the memories I had of chasing that train up the mountain, laying coins on the tracks, and spending the day on a drive as a family and I was so thankful for those memories.
Right there in that moment I knew my dad was with me, in the smell of the train, the golden trees and the memories. As I felt the warm tears roll down my cheeks I began to drive up the mountain just enjoying these memories.

Then I turned a corner to see... Then I could hear my dad laughing, "Miss me kid?" We never could stay too serious in our family. It was just too funny, and the timing was perfect. Looking for dad in the little things in life keeps him alive in my heart.

Football is in the air...

Look at that little bobcat! We made our appearance at our first home football game. It was so much fun. I was so proud being in the stands, cheering for Bruce and being there as a family. It was great.

It is really all about the cute baby, right? She was a hit at the game. It was really fun to show her off and she was really good during the game.

Our little football!

3 Girls in the tub...

Madelynn, Shelby, and Mackenzie in the tub. So cute. Madelynn looks like she is trying to figure out who these extra people are in her tub. Even though I had to get my teeth out, we sure have had a good time.

Rolling over atempt...

Ok, so Meghan said this doesn't count as rolling over but I think it is very close. Yes, she was on the couch but no one was on the same cushion as her and she did have to get her body over herself. Gravity may have helped her at the end. Regardless, it is very cute and Bruce was very proud. Now we will work on it on the ground and see how she does.

Playing with toys

Here's Madelynn playing with her toys.

2 1/2 months...where has the time gone?

Madelynn is almost 3 months and I don't know where th time has gone. She is so much fun. I am just so in love with her I could cry sometimes. She makes me laugh every day. I am getting ready to take 4 weeks off with her and it is going to be fantastic. We are just going to hang out and play, take lots of pictures I am sure, take naps together and just have fun. It is just amazing how much she grows all the time. Maybe she will learn to roll over while I am home.

During the time she has been at the sitter it really has gone well. She seems very happy there and the sitter is great. Her kids love Madelynn and they will probably miss her these next 4 weeks. I hate leaving her but I know she is ok and very loved.

Sometimes I have an out of body moment and just can't believe my dad is missing all this. I know he is in a much better place, but, out of my own selfishness, I wish he were here.

He always loved football season and loved keeping up with Bruce's team. They were good about going to his games that were close to them. They love supporting him and the Bobcats. It is just hard to believe he won't be here this season. I can't even believe it sometimes.

I can hear him talking to me all the time (I know he really isn't talking to me) in the dumb things I do or when I am sad or lonely. I know exactly what he would say and it is as if he is right there with me. He is still so much a part of my life and I am thankful for those memories.

Whit heard Cassidy and Mackenzie talking the other night and Mackenzie asked Cas, "Do you miss Papa?" and she said, "Of course I do. Do you?" It is so wonderful that they have those memories and I hope they will share them with Madelynn someday.

Well, that is enough rambling for today. Sometimes my thoughts just get away from me. So we continue living life aware of this void that we feel everyday, but knowing that he would want us to keep being happy; keep living life. We will never fill the void and we will always be aware it is there because no one could ever live up to who my dad was. And someday I will tell Madelynn all about him...

8 weeks old

A little smile!

Madelynn was 8 weeks old yesterday. Where did the time go. She is getting so big. She is starting to smile more and makes new sounds. She is such a good baby. we are having so much fun with her. We think she is close to 8lbs. We have her 2 month apt on Friday so we will find out for sure. She is almost out of Newborn clothes and can wear some of her 0-3 month stuff. How fun!