Set apart for a great purpose

I have known from the very beginning that God had great plans for our Annika Grace.  The moment I received the news that she might have a genetic disorder (ok, it may have taken me a couple of moments to wrap my brain around everything) I knew God had a reason for placing her in our lives and I could not even imagine what was in store for all of us.  As we started to plan for Cri du Chat awareness week I have been blown away by the love and compassion we have seen from our friend, family and community.  

We started with Annika Hatch day at the baseball game last week.  The night before I felt and overwhelming anxiety in my chest and I prepared to put my tiny, 15 pound little girl out there in front of everyone and I was just not sure I could handle it.  Luckily God has surrounded me with people who constantly remind me to turn my eyes to Jesus in all circumstances.  So, as soon as I called my sister and started to freak out she stopped me and said, "Let's pray."  Right then and there she prayed for all that would hear about Annika and the plans that God had for her and I remember that it was not about me.  He is greater than all my fears.  The ball game was fantastic and we brought awareness to the rare disorder.  

Gayle and John on Annika Hatch Day

Madelynn and Chris at the baseball game

I have LOVED seeing the pictures of everyone in their Team Annika shirts.  When we first got them Madelynn wanted to wear it everyday.  Again, I am touched by the amazing love that has been shown to us.  My sister and Beau created these shirts to show their love and support for the niece they love so much and it gives me great pride to wear my shirt around and have people ask me about it.  I can't wait to get all the pictures of people in their shirts and make a book to show Annika all the lives she has touched and how loved she is.  Many people wanted the money from shirts to go toward Annika and because of this we were able to pay for her entire hospital stay (at least the bills we have received so far) in full.  Again, I am so grateful and humbled buy the love people have shown us.

On Sunday May 3rd we had a walk here in Bloomfield to raise awareness for Cri du Chat and we had such a great turn out.  It took my family a bit to get started and as we rounded the corner and began walking up the street and I saw all of our friends and family there to show their support I just felt my heart fill with love and thought, "This is just one of the small ways God is using Annika's life."  I can't even imagine what is to come.  My absolute favorite part of the day was sitting around on the grass at the fire station with all of our friends and just enjoying life.  God used her tiny life to remind us the importance of friends and the importance of slowing down and taking time for each other.  I can't even say thank you enough for all people have done for us.  My heart is full.

The love of a daddy and his little girl

Sitting around and having fun

Big Sister Madelynn having fun

Nothing like a good Popsicle after a walk

The Bloomfield, NM 5k for 5p- Group

What a great idea....A Legacy Bible

I just think this is an amazing idea and I wanted to share it with all of you out there.  I love writing in my Bible and looking back at the lessons God has revealed to me over the years.  After my dad died I studied out of his Bible for a while and it was as if he was right there with me teaching me lessons.  There was so much comfort in seeing his handwriting and reading the words he had written.  One of the blogs I follow shared this the other day and I wanted to pass it on to all of you.  I am thinking about getting a Bible and studying out of it for the year and then passing it along to Madelynn.  Then I couldn't decide what to do about Annika.  Of course I want to leave one for her, but then I found myself asking those questions I don't like to ask myself.  "Will she be able to read?  What will her life be like?  How much will she function on her own?"  I hate it when these thoughts come into my head because they depress me and scare me all at the same time.  But then I thought, "Why wouldn't I want to leave a legacy for Annika?"  Even if someone is taking care of her, wouldn't they be reading the Bible to her?  I sure would hope so.  So, I plan to get another one for her and study out of that for a year and then save if to pass down to her.  
I hope you can use some of her ideas to leave a truly lasting legacy for your kids also.  
Click the picture to take you to her post.

Time-Warp Wife - I am Leaving a Legacy Letter

Here is another resource if you are a bit more artistic than me.

Bible Journaling: What I've Learned and what I use...

Peace

It is hard to believe that I went round and round trying to decide whether or not to have Annika go through surgery when I see now how amazing she is doing.  I mean, don't you just want to squeeze those chunky thighs? :) She has gone from 13 pounds 6 oz on the day of surgery to 15 pounds 3 oz exactly one month later.  She has more color in her cheeks, her hair is growing and she is just so much happier.  
I have had people ask me, why did you wait so long to have the surgery?  She could have been gaining weight much sooner.  Well, I don't know about you but I find it difficult to make the choice to have my daughter sliced open (her scar is from her sternum to her belly button plus the tube) even though I knew it would probably help her.  I had to know that I had done everything I could be for I chose this.  God gave us the peace we needed for this decision when it was time to make that choice.  

Here we are a month later and she is doing amazingly well.  In the past if she was sick she would hardly eat at all.  This has not changed.  She has had a cold this past week or so and has not wanted to eat at all.  Well guess what little girl, you don't have a choice.  When she couldn't eat we would just hook her tube up and feed her.  That simple and she didn't loose an ounce.  It was great and took a ton of stress off of me.  

I know this is a scary choice if your child is having to go through this and I am sure some parents out there have some not so good stories, but for us it was the best decision for our child and I would hope other parents would consider it if needed.  She had the fundoplication surgery and a G-tube placed.  She can still take baths and she is rolling over and trying to crawl.  She can still go swimming this summer and she is already trying to crawl.  We leave her with babysitters, and have had to train them on how to tube feed her.  We even leave her with teenage babysitters so we can go out.  As long and they know what to do in an emergency (and we live in a very small town and are not far away) then I feel comfortable still living life.  Her challenges are not something that are going to "go away" or be "healed" so we still have to live our lives and have her part of it.  I think this is very important for all of us to function and normal as possible.  Plus, it allows others to be part of her life and enjoy her sweet, wonderful laugh and smile.  

Let His light shine

These last 3 weeks have been crazy.  It has felt like a whirlwind and I am hoping to catch my breath this week.  As I watch my little girls I have been thinking about their lives and their purpose.  We are here in the world as strangers; this is not where we belong and we are just visiting.  Don't get too attached because you won't be spending much time here; in the big scheme of things.  

"...You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:14

So, again I look at the lives of my little girls.  

This week I had the privilege of speaking to a Human Development class.  My neighbor asked me if I would come speak about Cri du Chat to her students.  Madelynn, Annika and I went and met these students who may become pre-school teachers in the future and I tried to pant them a picture of a parent of a special needs kid and what I would want them to know about my child.  It was very cleansing to share with these students the fears and doubts I have had over the past year ad what life might look like for my little girl.  As I stood in front of that class and spoke Madelynn was so good.  She sat and played with play dough and from time to time she added commentary to my talk.  She would chime in with, "We don't get throwed up on any more!" or "She loves it when I blow in her face."  It was no big deal to her that we were talking about her sister's lack of chromosomes or the fact that her 18 month old sister doesn't do things like other kids do.  She could care less.  She just wants her sister to laugh and maybe say her name someday.

Then I saw God's love and grace shining through my girls right then and there.  They don't get in the way of God's plan for their life, they are just living it.  This is my hope for them, that God's love shines through them and when others notice that something is different about them, they will see that it is God's love shining through them.

I only hope I can be like them and not get in the way of God's light.  I know life is short and that God has a purpose for each and everyone of us being here at this moment.  While we were in ABQ for Annika a sweet little girl who we don't actually know, but it felt like we did, passed away.  Her name was Violet and we knew her and her family from the Cri du Chat Facebook page.  Even though we will probably not meet most of these families, we still celebrate each other's victories and share each other's frustrations.  So, when sweet Violet passed away my heart ached for her family.  Here they had just been adjusting to the idea of how special their little girl would be and then God took her back.  It is hard to realize that our kids are just on loan.  I would love to actually meet this family someday because as I have followed them on Facebook through this dark time of their life, they have let His light shine every step of the way.  They have found a way to praise God through it all.  

My prayer for this week is that I stay out of God's way and he is able to use me to show others his grace and love, just like my kids and sweet little Violet.    

This girl is amazing!

Everyday there is something new.  She is so amazing!  She was doing very well before surgery at rolling over and trying to get on her knees.  Since the surgery she can't really do that, but she is starting to today.  I see crawling in her near future.  We just have to get those arms stronger.

A little talking...

Just had to share this for those of you who haven't seen it.

Leaning on God for strength

Oh my, don't you just want to hug her?!  What an amazing, brave little girl.  I can't believe all she has been through the past week.  As we were driving to ABQ for her surgery I had some scary thoughts about her procedure and the fact that there could be complications.  She is very tiny and tiny babies do not always do that well in these types of situations.  As the doctors took my sweet baby back all I could do was pray.  I told myself I probably wouldn't see her for about 3 hours (the surgery was supposed to take 2 so I figured give or take a little time at the beginning and the end) and during that time all I could do was lean on the one I knew was stronger than anything I was going through.  The words I read reminded me that I must trust:

• God's sovereignty and timing for my life
• God's method of giving me what I need
• God's provision from the fullness of His love
• God's heart being good and unchanging

What a great lesson as my baby was in surgery.  Well, she did so well it only took 2 hours from the time they took her back to the time I was able to see her again.  The next few days were a learning experience for all of us.  I was constantly amazed by her strength and so thankful for God's protection over her.  

A week and a few days later we were headed back to Bloomfield, and as I could hear my little girl talking in the back seat I was overwhelmed by God's grace and love He has shown me.  It was like I was bringing home a brand new child.  I had spent her entire life being thrown up on everyday.  We constantly have blankets and burp rags covering surfaces of our house.  I have made covers for her car seat and the straps for easy cleaning.  This had become such a part of our lives that it was normal to hear Madelynn yell, "Throw up!" from the living room.  It was such a surreal feeling that I just found tears rolling down my checks.  I can't even imagine the things God has in store for Annika and I am so grateful to be part of it.  I feel overcome with love and gratitude for the people who have been praying for us and who love Annika and our family so much.  

It is amazing that there is no throw up in our daily life, Annika has already returned to taking her milk orally, she is gaining weight, and I am sure we will be starting back on food very soon.  God is good, his timing is just right (even for surgery days), and his love is greater that I can even imagine.