I think parenting often feels like troubleshooting. You try a punishment, you try a reward, see how it works for you kid and then go back to the drawing board. Things never quite seem black and white and what works with one doesn't seem to work with the other. Well, when you have a child with special needs I feel like you can multiply the amount of trouble shooting by about 100.
In March Annika had her surgery to fix her severe reflux and throwing up. I was glad we had reached this conclusion to have this done and knew it was going to help her. She has done so well over the past few months. She has hair (which seems to be the first thing most people notice), she is trying so hard to crawl, she is make more and more vocal sounds every day, and she does throw up less.
That being said, she is still having these awful "gagging" episodes. I really don't know what else to call them. It is not like she is gagging on something in her mouth it happens further down in her stomach, but that seems the best way to describe it. I feel like I am constantly troubleshooting to try to figure out ways to improve this occurrence. She is not supposed to be able to bring up milk, but of course we are over achievers, and she is able to bring up milk through her surgery. It is so awful to watch and takes so much energy out of her. So, each day I am back to the drawing board just trying to figure out how to help her. Feed her faster, feed her slower, wait until she has been up for awhile, spread out her feeds.....and the list goes on and nothing seems to help. She is on some medicine that should help but we aren't there yet.
Some days I just want to have a relaxing day. I don't want to problem solve, I don't want to juggle our schedule between therapies and Dr. apts, and I don't feel like smelling like barf. But this is just not the way it is. So, find peace and joy in the little thing around you. Last night Annika was laughing hysterically. I am not totally sure what she was laughing at but she thought it was the funniest thing ever. And right there, that is why I will continue to juggle, schedule, and doing laundry.