"My cup runneth over..."

I had the amazing opportunity last February to participate in IF:Gathering and let me tell you it was great!  I came away from there with a fire in my soul (literally - this tugging on my heart that could have only come from one place) and it has been growing and smoldering ever since.  It is no secret that I have always been called to teach, and even in this crazy time of education I still love it every day.  But I have always had a desire in my heart to teach a Bible study, but it has just never been the right time, or God's time apparently.  Well, after IF: Gathering 2015 I kept hearing this small voice asking if I was doing what God was calling me to do.  Well, I am fairly busy in the church, trying to help out and participate where I feel called, but there was still this tugging.  Then God put on my heart to begin a women's Bible study and he even placed someone on my heart to lead it with me.  Then he even provided a place for us to meet and next he actually provided women who needed this time together.  It was amazing.  We began meeting every other Monday night and just having a time together to share in each other's joys and sorrows and learning God's word together has been invigorating.  I was getting to see God's plan for me, and for others, unfold right in from of me.  

We just finished our 1st study (Stuck by Jennie Allen - highly recommend it) and during that I kept praying about how I am using the time God has given me and whether or not I am using my talents in the way he wants me to.  He kept putting on my heart to continue this Bible study and so I stepped out of some of my other roles.  We were going to take the holidays off from the Bible study but I let them know I was going to start a study on my own if anyone was interested (Seamless by Angie Smith - Can't wait to delve into this one), well, guess what?!  We have a group 8-9 women still coming together on Monday nights, now every week, and we are going to continue our time in God's word through the holidays.  

I am just so blessed to be part of these women's lives and getting to see Him work in their lives is such a gift.  As were are beginning our new study I have been reflecting on my past Bible study experiences.  I have had some great teachers in my life and I know they have helped to fuel my fire through these years.  My mom always taught me (really through example) the importance of spending time in The Word everyday.  My dad was such a scholar of God's Word and if you ever had a chance to be in one of his classes you were truly blessed.  

But one teacher in particular really stands out.  Sherrie took the time to take a group of young high school and college girls aside and really teach us how to study the word.  She taught us to "Take Ten with God" and her FLA style has always been a part of how I study.  She showed us that we didn't have to have a fancy Bible study with videos and teachers, that we had all the tools right there with us.  She empowered us to grow in our relationship with Christ everyday.  She instiledl in us a desire to spend time with him and she made in attainable for everyone.  She taught me how to open any part of the Bible and find how to learn and apply it to my life.  She strengthened my prayer life and demonstrated the importance of spending time quietly with him everyday.  These are lessons that have followed me for the past 20 years (yikes!  Has it really been that long?)  And now I have the opportunity to share with other women and hopefully empower them in the same way.  

How is God trying to use you today?  What people has he place in your path to guide you and lead you to where you are today?  Are you allowing Him to use you however He sees fit?  Or God is sovereign and he has a plan for your life.  It is an awesome ride if we just get out of the way.

Anger

Looking back at some of my other blogs is making me even more angry at myself for how I am feeling, but sometimes I just feel angry.  I don't want to and then I get so upset because I am feeling that way, but it just continues as a vicious cycle.  What makes me think I deserve it any other way?  Sometimes the frustration of seeing all that is going on around me is just more than I can handle and I just want to scream.  I get angry because my crying baby can communicate what is wrong when she just cries and cries.  It doesn't happen often, but when it does it just breaks my heart.  I get angry because Madelynn dreams about her future, and having kids of her own and then adds, "And Annika will live with us too so we will also have her."  I love that it seems so natural to her thinking but I hate that that is what she thinks about for her future.  She doesn't see the late night conversations with her sister, trips to the mall, or even sharing the joy of having children together.  No, she realizes that Annika will be like one of her kids.  How can I feel so proud and so angry all in the same moment?  

I have to speak to other women in about a week about being a special needs mom and I am not even sure I know what to share some days.  Do they want to hear about the triumphs?  Do they want to hear how I have to choose joy everyday?  Do they want to hear that I have to constantly NOT do the mental math of what my child "should" be doing compared to other kids?  I am really not sure I am qualified to even be sharing sometimes.  I am happy and I do love and adore both of my kids, but then there is just this underlying anger and I am not really sure what to do with it.  I would want more than anything to curl up in my dad's lap and just cry it out, but that too is out of reach.  

But then the anger fades.  There is laughter.  A smile that could melt the most angry heart.  There is a look that says I love you, even if I may never hear the words.  I grasp onto that and cling to it as if it is a life preserver trying to pull me out of this anger and despair.  I can feel the storm in my heart calming and I remember that the things of this life don't matter.  The things of this life don't last.  God has a perfect plan and HE IS FAITHFUL, even though I am not.  HE IS FAITHFUL, even when I doubt.  HE IS FAITHFUL, through all my struggles and fears and anger.  I know no other way....

  

What a great idea....A Legacy Bible

I just think this is an amazing idea and I wanted to share it with all of you out there.  I love writing in my Bible and looking back at the lessons God has revealed to me over the years.  After my dad died I studied out of his Bible for a while and it was as if he was right there with me teaching me lessons.  There was so much comfort in seeing his handwriting and reading the words he had written.  One of the blogs I follow shared this the other day and I wanted to pass it on to all of you.  I am thinking about getting a Bible and studying out of it for the year and then passing it along to Madelynn.  Then I couldn't decide what to do about Annika.  Of course I want to leave one for her, but then I found myself asking those questions I don't like to ask myself.  "Will she be able to read?  What will her life be like?  How much will she function on her own?"  I hate it when these thoughts come into my head because they depress me and scare me all at the same time.  But then I thought, "Why wouldn't I want to leave a legacy for Annika?"  Even if someone is taking care of her, wouldn't they be reading the Bible to her?  I sure would hope so.  So, I plan to get another one for her and study out of that for a year and then save if to pass down to her.  
I hope you can use some of her ideas to leave a truly lasting legacy for your kids also.  
Click the picture to take you to her post.

Time-Warp Wife - I am Leaving a Legacy Letter

Here is another resource if you are a bit more artistic than me.

Bible Journaling: What I've Learned and what I use...

Thank you Lord for crying kids..

Thank you Lord for crying kids, even in the middle of the night, because it means I have kids.  There are many out there who would love to be in my shoes.  Thank you that I have kids who need me because one day they won't, as much.  Thank you for reminding me of all my blessings, even though they can make life messy and crazy and sad and busy, they make my life LIFE!  And I am so very blessed.  Thank you for reminding me Lord of all you have given me.  Kids to take care of, a husband to love, good food to eat so there are dishes to wash, nice clothes to wear that I now have to fold, and so many other amazing blessings.  Thank you Lord for these reminders of all my blessings even though I am tired at times.  That is all for today :)


Okay, as I am writing this post I am remembering a song I used to play on the piano, Thank God for Kids by the Oak Ridge Boys.  I loved this song as a kid, but now that I am a parent it has even more meaning.  The lyrics are below.  All those things we as parents complain about and dread go along with all those wonderful things that make life exciting when you have a child (or a child that is part of your life).  Read through the words and thank God for all those little things in your life.

"Thank God For Kids"

If it weren't for kids have you ever thought
There wouldn't be no Santa Claus
Or look what the stork just brought
Thank God for kids.

We'd all live in a quiet house
Without Big Bird or a Mickey Mouse
And Kool Aid on the couch
Thank God for kids.

Thank God for kids, there's magic for a while
A special kind of sunshine in a smile.
Do you ever stop to think or wonder why
The nearest thing to heaven is a child?

Daddy, how does this thing fly?
And a hundred other wheres and whys
I really don't know but I try
Thank God for kids.

When I look down in those trusting eyes
That look to me I realize
There's love that I can't buy
Thank God for kids.

Thank God for kids, there's magic for a while
A special kind of sunshine in a smile.
Do you ever stop to think or wonder why
The nearest thing to heaven is a child?

When you get down on your knees tonight
And thank the Lord for His guiding light
Pray they turn out right.
Thank God for kids.
Mmm, Thank God for kids.

My Last Track Meet

Madelynn helping me at track.  She is so funny and bossy....I have no idea where she gets that from :)

My 1600M Medley team - they set a new Basin record with a 4:42.61

I can't believe that I have been coaching for 9 years.  At my wedding 10 years ago I met a guy named Coach Satagena and he introduced himself and then in the same breath asked me if I wanted to coach track in the spring.  I later learned that this was totally normal for him; he LOVES track.  Well, the next year I gave in and said yes and the rest is history.  Since then I have coached 7 seasons of Girl's soccer and 9 seasons of track.  Do you realize how many bus trips that is with noisy teenagers???  What was I thinking?! :)  No, all in all it has been an amazing experience.
Well, with the baby on the way and a VERY active 3-year old (almost), I have decided that it is better that I don't coach anymore.  It it tough to have both parents coaching.  By the end of soccer season Madelynn was complaining about going to practice everyday (granted as soon as it was over she wanted to go to soccer, go figure).  I had already quit soccer back in the fall and lamented about that in another post.  So, here I am at another crossroad.  I am sure as the season starts I will be sad to not be out there, but it is nice not to have that pressure anymore.  It will be nice not to have to deal with some of the parents (who ruin it for everyone).  It will be interesting to see how different our lives are going to be and what will fill that time.  I am sure it will fill quickly, it has just been such a part of my life for so long that it seems strange right now.
What a great end to a season though; my girls setting a new Basin record.  I was so proud of them.  Bruce helped me cut some time off their hand-offs and then I think the adrenaline drove them the rest of the way.  They beat the record by a whole second and in the wind (if you don't do running that is a significant amount.)  The record was 19 years old, set in 1994 by a Shiprock team.  My last season was not quite how I imagined it but it was still great.  
And here we go, onto another chapter....What will God have in store next?   

Thy Word is a Lamp unto my feet....

"Your word, O Lord is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens" Psalms 119:89

I received a special gift from my sister earlier this year.  She sent me my dad's Bible.  Just holding it makes me feel this little piece of him is here.  I have started to do my Bible studies out of it.  I love opening the soft pages and seeing his handwriting all over it and it is amazing.  If dad was still alive I think it might seem a little strange to read through all the notes and messages in his Bible, but now it seems like all these little messages left for me to discover. 

I grew up in a house where I knew the importance of studying the word.  I knew being a Christian was not just about going to church and doing good.  It is about having a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Well, how else do you get to know Jesus without spending time with him?  The best way to spend time with him is to be in his Word daily.  I often saw my parents reading and studying the Bible.  My dad was one of the best Bible teachers I have ever had.  I still remember him teaching the book of Revelation to our youth group - and it was wonderful.  I have always used my Bible.  I mean highlighted, written notes, marking the parts where I really knew God was talking to me.  I know some keep their Bible in pristine condition and don't think it should be written in; but I was taught to use it as a tool.  The Word of God is not just something you should read but something you dive into, whole-heartedly to get to know the Lord. 

Well, as I began to study out of my dad's Bible I saw how he truly loved the Word of God. 

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" Psalms 119:105

 Not only were there notes in the margins of many pages but he had important, go-to verses written on the inside and back covers of his Bible.  He had facts and roots of Greek and Hebrew words (thanks to Pastor Bob) at the beginning of different books. 

Dad is gone and he is still teaching me about what is important.  Reading his notes inspires me and touches my life.  Seeing how he studied the Bible encourages me to get to know my Master even better. 

"I have hidden your words in my heart that I might not sin against you" Psalm 119:11

Life is not easy and God allows us to go through some difficult times.  With His words hidden in our hearts we are more likely to make the right decisions and turn to God for strength during those time.  If we fill our hearts up with his loving words they will overflow out of our mouths and through our actions. 

I am thankful for the people in my life who have encouraged me to study the Bible and have been examples of this in their own lives; my dad and mom, Sherrie Shaffer, the Buells, Pastor Bob and many more. 

I have been challenged recently by the words of my Pastor (who is affectionately call "Mar" in our house) by this quote, "You really only believe the part of the Bible that you actually do"  This really hit home when he said it and I have been trying to apply it to my life. 

 Can others tell what you believe by your actions?

What makes a house a home?

What makes a house a home?  Is it the brick, cement, 2x4s, paint, blood, sweat, and tears that go into it?  Is it the money that you pay?  Is it the people that live there year after year?  I keep rolling this over and over again in my head as another chapter in my life ends.  I know I have talked about this in a earlier blog but we are still trying to find our new normal.  As my mom called me today to tell me that a piece of my childhood had been sold to someone else I just couldn't keep it inside anymore.  That one little piece of my life with dad seemed to be gone.  I know having the house was not going to bring him back, but I could still go to those places where I had so many memories.  

Then I started to look through some old pictures, as you can see from my collection below.  I remember our 1st day of school pictures in the front yard by our purple tree.  I remember the day my parents bought the Blue Van and drove up with it.  I also remember being in the front yard when my dad came home with my 1st puppy, Droopy.  I was so excited...I think the Tanners where there for that.  I remember many, I mean MANY, family water fights in the front yard.  I can hear the three of us giggling and laughing as I think about those days.

I remember the many pre-dance pictures taken in front of our fire place.  The picture of Bruce and I is from the night we got engaged (even though I didn't know that was what would happen that night).  Then look at us years later in front of the same fireplace with our little girl.  Even though Madelynn didn't get to know Papa it was like she got a piece of those memories because she got to be where he was last.  We could tell her the stories of the trains and the great times we had had.  Now, if we get to have another baby they won't get that experience.  

 

I began to look at the pictures of all the friendships we had made at that house.  Jessica and I became best friends at that house and she sat with me in my parents' bedroom while I threw up...what a friend.  The many nights of pictionary, sports team Christmas parties, youth sleep overs, giggling girls, and Christmas mornings have come flooding back to me as I take a mental walk down the halls of my childhood.  It feels like those walls have shaped who I am today.  They gave me protection since I was 2 years old.  Those walls protected me from storms, heard me cry silent tears, heard little girls on the phone falling in and out of love, those walls hold secrets between sisters that no one else will ever know and unspoken dreams as we fell asleep at night.  It was a refuge as I got older whenever I was sad and as we came home from AZ after dad passed away.  I could go into those rooms and still feel him there.  Oh the nights we spent in that garage having our "garage talks".  Sometimes dad would forget that I actually needed to go to bed and go to school the next day.  Boy, we could BS with the best of them.  Oh the hours we spent out there solving the world's problems, analyzing our day, and sometimes fighting.  We made science fair projects and inventions in that garage, little girls learned to ride their bikes from there, I sat up with my new puppy (Mandy) in that garage, we would sit and talk for hours as a family as dad had a beer and smoked his pipe, boys asked for our hands for marriage in that garage and Grady got his best train buddy ever.  The memories made just in that one room tear at my heart and make me want to go back in time so bad.  I know it is just a room, but it seems like such a part of me.                  

And the memory I will have trouble moving from the most will be the Christmas mornings we shared at that house.  I have spent every Christmas morning there, except for one, since we moved there in 1981.  As I watched my nieces and nephew this last Christmas ride their new bikes and skate down the same street we learned to ride our bikes on I realized this would probably be the last time we would all be together like this in our home, or is it just a house???  I can think back to so many Christmas mornings, so excited to see what Santa had left that I couldn't even wait for my sisters to get up.  I remember sneaking out in the middle of the night to look in my stocking (don't tell mom).  Wow, the laughter and fun (and one year with some tears - Whitney can tell you about that) are so alive I feel like I was just there a few weeks ago. 

So, what makes a house a home?  Are we leaving our house behind or our home?  Does our home live in our hearts because it is a part of who we are?  Can a building really be part of our identity?  Can a house shape who I am today or is it the people who have come and gone through that screen door who have made me who I am?  What will I miss most; the walls, stucco, paint, wood, cement and nails or the memories that came from all of that?  If we sell the house aren't those memories still there in my heart and mind?  Then why does it hurt so bad to see it gone? 

Goodbye Morgan Lane house, you have been my home for so many years.....

Never let up...

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members." Romans 7:21-23

Sometimes, ok most of the time, it feels like I can never let up. Just when I think I can relax and maybe not be as diligent about my prayer time or reading my Bible or just keeping God's plan for me in the front of my mind; BAM! Satan creeps right in. Just when I think, "I know this stuff, I know what God wants for me and I am on the right path"



WHAMMY!

There it is, spiritual warfare at it finest. It seems small at first. Maybe I am annoyed with my husband and then I have a bad attitude towards him. Or I let my students get to me and then I am rude to other students. Or I just let Satan into my thoughts and I am very negative and judgemental.

"And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light" 1 Corinthians 11:14

Whatever form it takes, I know it is Satan trying to get to me because he knows I let my guard down. Satan is the Prince of this world; he rules it. I know this and yet I let him get the best of me at times. It just seems like I am always fighting always having to move forward. As soon as I let up; whether it be in my prayer time, working out, laundry, getting packed for the next day....or a litany of things. As soon as I think I am "ahead" then something happens.

How do I avoid this? How do I stay on top? Oh that's right, don't rely on my own strength, remember that I can't do it on my own, and as Pastor Bob says, "Die to self everyday. Everyday He must increase and I must decrease." And this will be a fight/battle/war everyday until the day Jesus comes again. So I guess I just needs to succumb to that fact and trust God.

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Home really is where the heart is...

I know this saying has been used a lot and has maybe even lost some meaning because of its over use, but, it really is true. I went to ABQ this weekend to help go through the last few things at mom's house that needed to be divided (I swear we have been doing this non-stop for the 2 years and we still have stuff in the garage we will have to tackle at some point). So, I stayed at mom and Bill's for the first time. I was a little nervous about how different it would be, but once we were there we just settled right in.
When I talked to Whitney and Meghan the next day they both wanted to know the same thing, "So, how was it? Was it strange?" And my answer, "No, it was fine. I felt totally at home." Whitney said, "Well, everything we do will always be different with out dad here; that is never going to change. But where ever Mom is that is home." She is so right. Even though we have TONS of memories in that house over the past 31 years that is not really where our home is.
Every time we go though a different stage or change the last couple of years we really have done well and it is ok. For some reason we keep being surprised and I really don't know why. The day after my dad passed away I laid there and prayed (and I know I wasn't the only one) for a man for my mom that would be kind and caring and make my mom happy and....fit into our family and, if he had kids, that we would all get along. So, why do I keep being surprised that God answered our prayers. He has always taken care of us before the need even arose so why do I keep thinking that something is going to be strange or difficult.
So, we will continue to find our new "normal" everyday with out Dad here, but we know where home will always be.

Name please...

Kelsey --- Fierce Island

"What's in a name?

That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet." Romeo and Juliet

"A child's name has singular importance as he embarks on learning about literacy...It enhances his security and his self-image, giving him a feeling of importance.....~ Marie M. Clay, Becoming Literate
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

Lodge - Family who lived in a cottage

Does our name describe us or do we give meaning to our name? I have been giving a lot of thought to idea of a name lately. When choosing a name for Madelynn I looked at different sites that explained the meaning of a name and where it came from (Madelynn - woman of Magdala, high tower, Ruth - Companion, Friend), I thought about my Grandma Ruth and what a great person she was. As I got married and changed my last name to Hatch I was a little sad not to write Lodge any more. I had been conncected to that name for almost 24 years of my life. People I didn't even know would ask me in college, "Are you a Lodge girl?" I would proudly say "YES!" I was always very careful as I was growing up, and even now, of the choices I made because I knew I was a "Lodge Girl" and people would be watching how I behaved. My parents raised me to represent my family in a positive way. It was good to be known as a "Lodge girl" and it made me proud to identify with it.

So, as I think about changes we have been going through during these last few years I have been thinking about what makes me a Lodge. There are no more Lodge kids to carry on the name, we have all girls. My dad has passed away and my mom may get married at some point and no longer be a Lodge. I have my Aunts and Uncles left with the Lodge name.

So, do we define our name or does our name define us? This is my question I have been pondering. Will I be less of a "Lodge Girl" if fewer and fewer people around me carry the name? Am I still a "Lodge" on the inside because of how I was raised and is it part of what defines my character? Does "Lodge" live on in action and deed if the name is no more? So, the Shakespearean questions........what is in a name?

Change or preparation

(Picture taken by my sister-in-law, Marie)Words to ponder - "No better time arises to count our blessings than when we believe we have none" (Beth Moore). Wow, what an attitude adjuster. Just when we think God has left us out to dry and is making all these changes in our lives we don't understand He reminds us of all the blessings he has given us.
Change is hard no matter what package it comes in; death of a grandparent or parent, moving to a new place or even just a new position with in our job, even a cute little bundle of joy is a change that can be difficult. Change makes us question what we believe and why we believe it and that is why we pray and ground ourselves in His word. At times like this Satan, the Prince of this world, is attacking us from all angles and if we are not well grounded he will knock us right off our feet. He wants us to get lost in the situation and think of how God is changing our lives and how much we hate it, but that is not God's plan for us. Everything we go through is God preparing us. He calls us, prepares us, uses us, prepares us some more and uses us some more. He continues to work on us and shape our heart until we are ready to see His face, the ultimate moment He is preparing us for. This is when He calls us up. He isn't done working on us just when we are old, He determines when He has finished His work in us and calls us up --- even if it doesn't seem like the right time to us.
This is what we have to remember during those times of change/preparation that we find difficult and we don't understand. What is God preparing me for? How is He using my life for His glory? And ultimately, it is not all about me (I know this totally goes against our society these days but deal with it).
So, what do we do in these tough times of change when we just want to cry and don't see the big picture that God is preparing for us? We cry, but cry out to Him. He has big shoulders and can handle it. We count our blessings one by one and remember all He has blessed us with even though we don't deserve it. Remember that "He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my might rock, my refuge" (Psalm 62:6-8). He is personal and He understands our sadness and pain, but He can see the bigger picture and He is telling us, "Trust in me, lean on me, and I will see you through until the end" (yes, this is me putting words in God's mouth, but this is what He tells me in my tough times).
So, is change all bad? No, and I know that if we lean on our rock we will add even more blessings to that list. Does it make it any easier when we are in the thick of the storm, not always, but it does give us the light at the end to help pull us through. What storm are you in right now?

"For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations" Psalm 100:5

Just fishin'...

I'm lost with her there holding that pink rod and reel.

She's doing almost everything but sitting still.

Talkin' 'bout her ballet shoes and training wheels..and her kittens.

And she thinks we're just fishin'.

I say "Daddy loves you, baby" one more time.
She says, "I know, I think I've got a bite."
And all this laughing, crying, smiling, dying here inside is what I call living.
And she thinks we're just fishin' by the riverside, throwing back what we could fry, drowning worms and killing time.

Nothing too ambitious.

She ain't even thinkin' 'bout what's really going on right now

but I guarantee this memory's a big'un.

And she thinks were just fishin'

I heard this song the other day for the 1st time. It brought tears to my eyes and I thought about my dad and I fishing together. Then my mom reminded me of this story:

Your dad took you fishing when we were camping. You kept wanting his help and he said "Kelsey, quit bothering me." You got big crocodile tears. He felt so bad, he put down his pole, picked up yours and taught you had to fish. When you came back to camp he told me what happend and how badly he felt. He said "I"ve caught fish before, and I'll catch them again" I don't ever want to say that again. I'm sure there were times we both put "us " first, but I know that we always tried to put you girls first---Mom

And this is what I remember about my dad. He and my mom always put us 1st and that is how they raised us and it was very evident in all their actions. When dad took us out on the boat he would drag us aroud that lake until we couldn't stand anymore. Then and only then did he get out his fishing pole. He never told us to hurry and finish sking because he was ready to fish.

Those moments on the boat and sitting on the side of a river bank weren't just about fishing, which I didn't learn until I was older and had a baby girl of my own. It is not about the things we do, it is about being together and knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are loved by your parents. That love and those lessons are now being passed on to our kids through us and it is amazing how I realize the sacrifices my parents made for us as we were growing up. But I also see as a parent, you don't even care, you are thankful and grateful to make those sacrifices. I am so thankful to experience those important moments with Madelynn and know that it is more than just "fishing."

(Song - She thinks were just fishin" by Trace Atkins")

http://www.azsongs.com/Trace-Adkins-lyrics/Just-Fishin%27-lyrics.html

It's not time yet...

I realized today that I often write about my dad but there is some great advice my mom has given over the year and maybe I should share those stories while she is still here to read them.

So, back to what led me down the thought path...

I took Madelynn for her 1st hair cut today (no, she doesn't have much hair, but it was just sticking out everywhere). She did fantastic. Her babysitter Julie and Lollie (her mom) where there to take pictures and then they took her while I got my hair done. Sandi getting started...
she loved it

All done and big smiles!

The finished product...just a little trim but she looks so cute. I hope it will be thicker now.

She was so happy and didn't even cry and neither did I. Then I got to thinking about these little milestones and I don't really ever cry when they occur. I reflected on my sisters' stories about some of their kids' first; and same as me, no tears. Is there something wrong with us? Should we be crying? Should we be more emotional about these stepping stones in life? Maybe it was the way we were raised. My parents never seemed to get very emotional (not that there is anything wrong with it, they just seemed to be happy for us during these moments) as we approached new challenges, stages, and risks in life. Even when they left me at college; none of us cried.

My mom just seemed to have a good outlook on life and taking it as it came. I remember when I was about 9 or 10 I was very upset one night and my mom asked what was wrong. "I am afraid to go to middle school." She said, "Of course you are, you are only 9, it's not time yet. When you are 11 it will be time for middle school and you will be ready. You don't have to worry about it until then." Sure enough, when I got to middle school and I totally ready (not that I wasn't a little nervous that day) and I did great.

I guess I didn't learn my lesson because a few years later when I was 12 I was upset and I told my mom I was scared to go to high school (typical me, always planning ahead and not just happy to live in today) and worried about doing well. Again she said, "Of course you are, you are only 12, it's not time yet. When you are 14 you will be ready and you will do great." She was right. When the time came I was ready.

Maybe that is where our outlook came from. As things come we just enjoy it and realize that it is time for that event in our life. Not that getting her 1st hair cut wasn't nostalgic and sweet, but I was ready for it, it was time.

These games....

As I look back on our games from last week, mine and Bruce's, it is not a pretty sight. My girls were 10-goaled by Farmington and Bruce's team was also mercy ruled. It is so hard when you feel like you do the best you can to condition and train and prepare your kids for everything that might come down the field. When the whistle blows and there is still time on the clock there is nothing harder as a coach or athlete. It is very hard not to take these games personally and really reflect on what you should have done differently. I saw my girls with tears in their eyes and their heads hung low and my heart hurt for them.

My coaching friend reminded me that "These games do not define us." Loosing or winning does not define us; they are just games. What defines us is our character in these situations and how we handle ourselves. Our words and actions towards others are what define us and show our true character. As my girls had their heads hung down and their spirits crushed they began to fight with each other on the field and even put each other down. I realized later that this is what I needed to do differently. Teach them how to learn from these situations and how to come out on top even when you are on the bottom.

In 10 or 20 years they may not even remember these "games" but they will remember their reactions to the challenges in life. These games do not define who they are or who I am as a coach; it is how we come through these storms that shows those around us who we live for and what is really important in life.

"If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Gal 1:10

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the lord, not for men...It is the Lord Christ you are serving." Col. 3:23-24

What defines you?

Parenting Guidelines....continued

Some of my friends commented on this, but I was really hoping to hear from more so if you would like to add to this list please feel free to send me more advice to add.

1. Go with your instincts
2. Never be too busy that you can't stop to be a super hero or have a tea party or read a book
3. Build a strong marriage...that builds strong kids
4. Your children are not a situation - so cultivate a attitude of sacrifice
5. Notice your children when they come into a room and let them know you are happy to see them
6. Each child is different and has unique needs for love, affection, and discipline
7. Love your kids in a way they can understand
8. Make eye contact
9. Hug them like you mean it
10. Never say never about something your kids might do....Just be ready to handle it and love them when they get off track.

I hope this list will continue to grow as others have time to add onto this. What great advice from some amazing people.

Do you have guidelines for childraising?

What, Mom? I'm not doing anything wrong.

"Madelynn, don't stand on that chair"

I can still hear the words I was saying in both of these instances. One thing I found amazing as Madelynn has grown is how quickly the disciplining has started. She is just a little baby and we already have to think about how we respond in certain situations and the lessons we are already teaching her. Before she was born I probably had four books next to my bed that I would read about what to expect and how to laugh through it and how to be prepared, but then once she was born we just went with the flow each day. I never really thought about or wrote our what my goals were.

My Bible study the other day was about guidelines for parenting and in it I was encouraged to write out 5 Guideline or Rules for Childraising. I had never thought about this before or even tried to put them into words. So this is what I came up with so far:

1. Never make a promise or threat you are not willing to go through with (this was advice Bruce gave me when I first started teaching and I think it still applies)

2. Start training your child early in the way you want them to go (Proverbs 22:6)

3. Don't sweat the small stuff --- Choose your battles

4. Make your kids a priority everyday

5. Treat your kids with respect, as people, not as equals, but respectfully ( I feel this is somehting my parents did very well when they were raising us and in turn we respected them)

I asked Bruce what his 5 would be. He had trouble coming up with some. He shared my 1st one (I guess that is ok because it came from him in the first place). I hope he has some I can post in the next couple of days.

I would love to hear from you guys. Even if you are not a follower on my blog, email me some of your guidelines and I will complie them into a list. I am sure over the years my list will change and grow, but there will always be a basic foundation that I am sure we will try to follow.

Me? June Cleaver?...I think not

When I picture June Cleaver I see a beautiful woman in her apron tiding an already tidy house, preparing dinner at 5:30, pressing the clothes, checking on the kids and their homework, and awaiting the arrival of her husband and I think, "Where in the heck is Ward to help her?"
I have often found myself griping or merely stating that if Bruce had to coordinate this house he wouldn't even know where to start. I tell him when the baby needs to eat, when there are appointments, what the plans are for next weekend and who's taking Madelynn during practice. The list goes on and at times I begrudge him the he just gets to ease through his day and just do the things he is told. Why doesn't he have to worry about what's for dinner and who can watch the baby so I can go to Zumba and have an hour to myself. We both work (and I love my job so I don't see myself staying at home anytime soon - not feeling that calling) and I think running the house should be a shared job.
Well, I had a bit of an eye opener the other day. Proverbs 31:27 (good old Proverbs 31 Woman to set me straight with my duties as a wife) says "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." I read more that a home is to be built with wisdom and realized that it is my job, from God, to take care of these things. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord not men." I don't have to be "June Cleaver", but I do have to have a heart to serve the Lord at what He has called me to do, even if I work during the day.
So I realized that building a home does start with me and God has called me to this place in life. Not that Bruce is not to help me - and he does - but I can't complain as I am watching over the affairs; it is my job and I need to have a joyful heart about it. So, June Cleaver - look out!

Goals for life....mine vs. God's

As the beginning of the school year begins I find myself thinking about goals. I always have "goals" I want to achieve for the summer with my time off. Cleaning and painting the baseboards, yard work, crafting projects...and the list goes on. Sometimes I achieve all of these and other times, like this year, I am only able to check off a few. As I was thinking about goals I found this piece of paper that I wrote in middle school at a 4-H camp (We stayed over night at UNM or was it the fair grounds? are there dorms there? and I was scared, but I did it and had a very good time). Well, this piece of paper has been in my wallet for almost 20 years. As you can see I revised my goals at some point.

Apparently when I was in Jr. High or High school when I revised these, this is what I set as goals for myself. As I was reading the Bible this week I got to thinking about God's goals for my life. Does God set goals for our lives? Does he have a little progress sheet up there that He evaluates from time to time to see if I am making AYP (addequate yearly progress)? How am I doing? Am I proficient or at beginning step?

So, as I continued to read I tried to figure out what God's goals would be for my life.

*To grow in Him by learning, studying and spending time with Him. (1 Peter 2:2)

*Serve my family through time, love and energy (Proverbs 31:15,30))

*Touch the lives of other - serve others (Colossians 3:23-24, Ephesians 6:7)

*Leave behind a legacy by being more like Christ (Romans 8:29)

I am sure they may be other goals God may have for my life, but these were the over-arching ideas that kept standing out to me as I read.

I know it is important to have goals or little accomplishments I would like to achieve in life, but I realized my focus should be how my report card with God is looking. Do I have a bunch of "U's" for unsatisfactory. I hope as God evaluates me that I am at least progressing in each goal He has for my life.

Too often I think I have been focused on my goals for my life and I haven't put enough thought into God's goals for my life. I hope that my little steps that I accomplish in life will mirror what God has set for me.

Just something I thought of while I was reading and I thought I would pass it along.

Remember each day is a new day and it is the Lord's (Nehemiah 8:9). So I will ask myself, "What does God want me to accomplish today?"

Blessings

As I watched Madelynn at the pool for the first time today I realized how blessed I am. Over the years I have spent many wonderful days with my nieces, nephew, and friends' kids playing at the pool, going down the slide, playing at Big Bounce, going to football games, having sleep-overs, making pizza, gingerbread houses, and cookies. I cherish these days and look forward to more.

But, as I watched my baby girl in the pool for the first time today I realized how blessed I am to now do these things with my own baby. As I see the wonder of exploring things for the first time, watching her as the water splashes on her and the sun shines in her crystal blue eyes my heart bursts with joy.

All of the times I experienced these with other special kids in my life were just a small taste of this wonderful experience. I knew I had a precious opportunity then to watch these wonderful kids grow up, but I never knew how blessed and privileged I would feel to experience these moments with my own little one. God is so gracious to allow me this and I am so thankful.

Where does time go?

Just kicking back. As I was putting laundry away the other day I was folding some of Madelynn's burp rags. Pictures began to flip through my mind of cleaning spit-up off the couch, my shirt, and Bruce's face and I felt a little twinge in my heart....my baby is drifting away. She is approaching toddlerhood and will be one before I know it. My little girl is reaching all these milestones I thought I wanted her to reach, but then I realize that with each one she is moving further and further away from me.

She can now hold her own bottle, and feed herself, and never uses burp rags anymore. As I look at her in this picture I can see her in 15 or so years kicking back like this, but the bottle will be replaced with a cell phone I am sure.

She stands with no hands and I am taken back to my own childhood as I was riding my bike and would let go and say, "Look mom, no hands!" How excited I was and how sad my mom must have felt as she realized I was growing up.

Growing up is such a strange pardox. It is so exciting to watch my little baby becoming her own person, and at the same time I just want time to stop because I haven't had enough time with her just like this.

So, every once in awhile as she falls asleep in my lap I will thank God for this little gift as time slows down and she is a little baby in my arms once again.