My 1st Christmas...was so great.

Reading with daddy. I had so much fun on Christmas morning with all my cousins. They were very noisy and excited; I will have to take notes for next year! I got lots of books and toys. It was great.
If I can just tear off this piece of paper and get it into my mouth I will be perfectly happy. I don't even care what's inside:)

All my cousins, on my mom's side, wrapped up in a blankets our Aunt Pat made us.

This is how I was almost the entire weekend. Just lovin' life! Merry Christmas. I can't wait to do it again.

Family

My family is so wonderful and I am so blessed!

Our little Peppermint Maddy

So, when I was little I had adopted grandparents here in Farmington and they made me a little reindeer like this one. As my parents had more kids they made each of them one also. We have all three of them in front of our Christmas tree and it is a very special decoration. As my parents added grandchildren to their family my dad began making each kido a reindeer for their tree. As soon as dad found out we were having a baby he told my mom, "I guess I have another reindeer to make." He was always like that. Thoughtful and caring and always putting us first, always wanting to make things special. Well, as this Christmas was approaching I didn't really give it a thought. I just figured this was one more thing my kid would miss out on and I had come to terms with that. Little did I know....

that my family had it all taken care of. They didn't want Madelynn to miss out on that tradition and they had it all taken care of. It was one of the first things my brother-in-law thought of for me when my dad passed away. He is so wonderful and always taking care of us. He and my uncle talked about it and Uncle Tim said he would make one for Madelynn. So, when I went down for my family Christmas I had a surprise waiting for me. It warms my heart to know that my family was already taking care of me and I didn't even have to worry about it. That is what our family is all about. They are always looking out for each other and I am so grateful to be part of this family. Now Madelynn has a little gift from Papa via his angels, and that means the world to me.

My 1st Tree

A little cold, but I had a great day. We met the fam and found our 1st Christmas tree. It was great.
What a happy family!

There it is. My first Christmas tree!

My first Thanksgiving

Up early to start the turkey!

We had a fantastic Thanksgiving. It was very strange not having dad there, but the house was full of food, family and love and I know he was there with us. It was strange to think back to last year when we were first telling everyone about Madelynn and here we are, a year later, with a beautiful 5 month old baby and a missing loved one. Life is so short and so quick. In one quick blink of an eye everything is so different. Sometimes I just want to ask God, "What were you thinking taking my dad away? It was too soon, he wasn't done here!" But I know He knows better than me, but it is so hard to see the whole picture. How can he be that he doesn't even know Madelynn? This huge part of my life and he knows nothing about it. It is just so strange and unbelievable at the same time. Through it all, we had a goo time.

The night ended with a slumber party. How sweet!

Rolling over...for real!!!

It is official...Madelynn is mobile!

She rolled over, both directions tonight. It was so exciting. Kathy and Rulon got to be here to see it. I am sure they were very excited.

Look out world here she comes!

(Please ignore the filming at the beginning and the crazy talking :)

Fall pumpkins!

Look now tall she is getting!!! We had such a great time at Sutherland Farms. We had to go back to the Dr. on Monday and she has gained 19oz in 2 weeks!! I guess formula packs on the pounds. So, she weighs 10lbs 4oz. It will be fun to stand her up to the same sign next year and see how much bigger she is.
Aww, cousins. Grady and Cassidy had such a good time together. They so so good with her. Both of them fed her a bottle. It was so cute.

Mommy and baby...I just love her so much!

Chillin' in the pumpkins...what a day!

4 months and going strong

I can't believe she is already 4 months old. Time is going so fast. She only weighs 9lbs. The Doctor wasn't concerned with how small she was just that she hadn't gained any weight in the last 6 weeks. We are having to supplement with a little formula, but she seems to like it. She loves this rattle my friend Katie bought her. I think it is cold on her gums. She smiles all the time (except at 3:00 this morning when she was very angry and didn't feel good). She loves to play on the floor and look at the TV. She really is a happy baby.

We have to take her back in in 2 weeks to see if she gained any weight. The Dr. wasn't really concerned but he wants to see her putting on some weight. She was right on track with everything else (well on her track at the 5%)

It will be Thanksgiving before we know it. I can't believe it was just a year ago we were finding out about her and now she is just a normal part of our life. We are very blessed!

Pass the Diet Coke please...

Madelynn thought the coke can was very fun to play with and we couldn't resist some pictures. Don't worry, she didn't drink any --- we are that bad.
She looks as big as the can here. She really is bigger, but not by much.

Take a roll please...

Madelynn's 1st roll. Ok, so it really wasn't her 1st. We missed it the first time. Bruce and I were even standing there talking about the fact that she was on her stomach and then all of a sudden she was on her back. So this is a staged one. We just kept putting her on her stomach to perform for us. Isn't that what kids are for?

Wow, this has been a big week for us. 1st time having cereal and now rolling over. She is getting so big!

Sitting in the Bumbo

Just chillin' and sittin' in the Bumbo. She looks like such a big girl. I can't believe how big she is getting. I told her she could pick up good habits from Kennedy only...like rolling over and sitting up. They were really into sympathy crying. It was funny.

Best Friends x2

Madelynn (3.5 months) and Kennedy (almost 7 months) just hanging out. I guess Madelynn will have to learn to defend herself. Well, Kennedy comes by it naturally! Her mom has been beating me up and knocking me off beds for years.
Oh, look at those innocent eyes!!! You better keep your eye on her Madelynn. Good times!!

In the Fall....

I drove up to Colorado Springs this week for Madelynn's 3 month pictures. What a great time of year to drive in through this area. When we were going up we were always so busy and there would be different things my mom would want to do, like going to Bosque del Apache (I think that is what is was called), but there was never time for it all. So she would say she wanted to do it in the fall. We would seldom get all these things done so it became a joke. When there was something we wanted to do we would say, "Sure, in the fall, in the fall...". One thing we wanted to do was drive up north and look at the leaves changing.

Well, I got to see them on this drive and they were amazing. It was raining like crazy on my way up there, but you could see these golden ribbons intertwined in the evergreens as they worked their way up the mountain. It was breathtaking.

I pulled over to take some pictures, and as I did I took a deep breath and mixed in with the rain, was the faint, sweet smell of the train that had just past. And in that moment I could feel a huge hug from my dad. I could hear him saying, "Hey kido, what's up? How have you been? I've missed you." My mind began to flip through all the memories I had of chasing that train up the mountain, laying coins on the tracks, and spending the day on a drive as a family and I was so thankful for those memories.
Right there in that moment I knew my dad was with me, in the smell of the train, the golden trees and the memories. As I felt the warm tears roll down my cheeks I began to drive up the mountain just enjoying these memories.

Then I turned a corner to see... Then I could hear my dad laughing, "Miss me kid?" We never could stay too serious in our family. It was just too funny, and the timing was perfect. Looking for dad in the little things in life keeps him alive in my heart.

Football is in the air...

Look at that little bobcat! We made our appearance at our first home football game. It was so much fun. I was so proud being in the stands, cheering for Bruce and being there as a family. It was great.

It is really all about the cute baby, right? She was a hit at the game. It was really fun to show her off and she was really good during the game.

Our little football!

3 Girls in the tub...

Madelynn, Shelby, and Mackenzie in the tub. So cute. Madelynn looks like she is trying to figure out who these extra people are in her tub. Even though I had to get my teeth out, we sure have had a good time.

Rolling over atempt...

Ok, so Meghan said this doesn't count as rolling over but I think it is very close. Yes, she was on the couch but no one was on the same cushion as her and she did have to get her body over herself. Gravity may have helped her at the end. Regardless, it is very cute and Bruce was very proud. Now we will work on it on the ground and see how she does.

Playing with toys

Here's Madelynn playing with her toys.

2 1/2 months...where has the time gone?

Madelynn is almost 3 months and I don't know where th time has gone. She is so much fun. I am just so in love with her I could cry sometimes. She makes me laugh every day. I am getting ready to take 4 weeks off with her and it is going to be fantastic. We are just going to hang out and play, take lots of pictures I am sure, take naps together and just have fun. It is just amazing how much she grows all the time. Maybe she will learn to roll over while I am home.

During the time she has been at the sitter it really has gone well. She seems very happy there and the sitter is great. Her kids love Madelynn and they will probably miss her these next 4 weeks. I hate leaving her but I know she is ok and very loved.

Sometimes I have an out of body moment and just can't believe my dad is missing all this. I know he is in a much better place, but, out of my own selfishness, I wish he were here.

He always loved football season and loved keeping up with Bruce's team. They were good about going to his games that were close to them. They love supporting him and the Bobcats. It is just hard to believe he won't be here this season. I can't even believe it sometimes.

I can hear him talking to me all the time (I know he really isn't talking to me) in the dumb things I do or when I am sad or lonely. I know exactly what he would say and it is as if he is right there with me. He is still so much a part of my life and I am thankful for those memories.

Whit heard Cassidy and Mackenzie talking the other night and Mackenzie asked Cas, "Do you miss Papa?" and she said, "Of course I do. Do you?" It is so wonderful that they have those memories and I hope they will share them with Madelynn someday.

Well, that is enough rambling for today. Sometimes my thoughts just get away from me. So we continue living life aware of this void that we feel everyday, but knowing that he would want us to keep being happy; keep living life. We will never fill the void and we will always be aware it is there because no one could ever live up to who my dad was. And someday I will tell Madelynn all about him...

8 weeks old

A little smile!

Madelynn was 8 weeks old yesterday. Where did the time go. She is getting so big. She is starting to smile more and makes new sounds. She is such a good baby. we are having so much fun with her. We think she is close to 8lbs. We have her 2 month apt on Friday so we will find out for sure. She is almost out of Newborn clothes and can wear some of her 0-3 month stuff. How fun!

Cousins

Calvin sittin' on the boat.
Jack, Marie, Lilly, and Owen on the tube

Patrick showing off his skills

Calvin's birthday

Ellery and Madelynn