Chronic sorrow....that's not me, is it?

http://susanellisonbusch.com/chronic-sorrow-in-parenting-a-child-with-a-disability/

I saw my friend posted this article the other day and I found myself offended at the title. I thought, "This is so not me. I am joyful. I choose joy every day and I am not sorrowful." But I have  to admit, as I read it I began to see some truths.   As I did I found myself shaking my head in agreement. I didn't mean to, but these were all feelings I could relate to. These were all things I have experienced in the past two years. But "chronic sorrow", that is not me. I am not sad day in and day out. I really am joyful and I love seeing Annika defy the odds. But I guess if I'm truthful there is  part of me that is always hanging on the edge, scared to see what's next or what we might be missing out on. I guess if I am truthful this article describes every emotion I have had. So what's my point in sharing this? Sometimes I show up to work crying for what seems like no reason at all. Sometimes I see a baby hug his mom and smile and tears fill my eyes. Sometimes other kids move on to the next step and we are celebrating back at the first step. I thought by sharing this others might understand when the tears come or when a little extra support might be needed. Maybe someone else is out there and doesn't know how to put words to their feelings. Maybe sharing this will help someone else like it helped me. I am still coming to terms with the words "chronic sorrow" but it does help me understand my feelings.