Girls will be girls....

Well we thought Madelynn was sleeping, but then this is what we found...have dressed and two legs in one pant hole. She is so funny!
Reading with my friend. I think Kennedy was teaching Madelynn to sit still and read a book.


Play time after the photo shoot...I think they just wanted us to leave them alone.

Kennedy with her blankent on her head. She is trying to keep it away from Madelynn who kept pulling on it and knocking her over...it was very funny!

Madelynn seems to think she is a puppy and carries things in her mouth as she crawls around the house.

Yummy...bell peppers. Eat up!

Aunt Jessica says banana cookies aren't messy....I'll show her!

Ready to hit the mall! Our little shoppers!

Lookin' pretty....4 Colorado Bulldogs later...Nothing like friends who are family and family who are friends. What a trip!

More tubbin!

Notice in during tub time Madelynn moves across the tub. She can't seem to sit still. I was impressed with how well she navigated they tub (especially since Kennedy kept getting in her way just sitting there :)
Look at how well she built that tower! Such skill.

Madelynn insisted on trying to pull the toy of the bottom of the tub. Kennedy didn't seem to mind it just staying there. This i how most of the weekend went. Madelynn was all over the place and Kennedy was calm and peaceful (nothing like her mom- but I hear there is a dictator side that sounds more like her). They were just so funny together. We have some great years ahead of us and some fantastic memories.

Madelynn and Kennedy in the tub

Madelynn and Kennedy have really changed since the first time they took a bath together. They are so funny; and so opposite. We didn't realize how white or tan each of them were until be had the next to each other.

It is also very obvious that Madelynn can't sit still and Kennedy is perfectly happy just enjoying the tub. They are so funny!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

I tried to get a few pictures in her very, very cute outfit before we went to school.
She can stand so well now. I don't think it will be long until she is walking.

Such a happy baby. I can't wait to get her pictures taken this weekend.

We put these cubes up to block her in the living room. She has now learned how to pull herself up and take the tops off. If you leave her in there when you leave the room she gets so upset!! She pushes her head against the cubes and cries and cries. It really is kind of funny.

5 Minutes.....

Please God, can I just have 5 minutes with my dad. Sometimes I try to bargin with God (I know I am not supposed to but I can't help it sometimes) and I think about getting just 5 minutes with dad and what I would say.
First, I would run and grab Madelynn so he could meet her and hold her and see how wonderful and beautiful she is. Then I would hug him and kiss him and memorize every little things about his face and hands so that I would never forget. I would shed a few tears (probably more) so he could keep them in his pocket for me like he used to do when I was little.

Then, I would tell him over and over again how much I love him and miss him and that he is the best dad, just to make sure he knows forever.

Then I would tell him all about what happened in the hospital and in AZ ( I don't know why I think he doesn't know this, but just in case) so he will know what happened and the strength that God gave us.

Then I will hug and kiss him some more. Just 5 minutes. Can't God spare him for that long? I don't understand why He can't just give me 5 minutes with my daddy.....I guess it is because I would just want 5 more....

It's not fair!!!

It's not fair. I want my dad back. God doesn't need him right now; He has plenty of other people up there. I want him here with me right now. How dare God take him and leave my baby without a Papa. All the other kids get to have Papa's. Why not mine? Why now? Why not later. It is not fair and I want him back.

Who would have thought that doing my taxes could bring on these feelings. Well, I guess tax time makes me think of him. I remember him sitting in the office when we were younger, doing the taxes and then complaining about what the government is taking. Ever since we have been married we go to my parent's house and dad would by Turbo Tax and we would get them done there. Then we would complain together as to what we had to pay the government. Well, I want him here with me where he belongs, helping us with taxes, because that is what dads do.

I have a student whose mom died and he is approaching the 3 year anniversary. He has tough days is class (boy can I relate) and the other day I had to send him out. When I went in the hall to check on him he had bloody knuckles. I asked him if he was hitting the wall and he said yes. Here is this boy who doesn't have the words to express how he feels and how angry and sad he is inside. I am an adult and I am supposed to know what to say and do and I all really want to do is hit my fists against the wall with him until I feel better.

It is not fair. Why does Madelynn have to grow up not knowing her Papa? Why did he have to go? I don't want to learn these lessons now. Can't I do it when I am older? I am too young still. As far as I feel inside I am still that little kid and I just want my daddy!!!