Joy through the Cri

My original purpose for this blog was to write about my 1st child and the loss of my dad, and although I still have thoughts to share about that, it has taken on a new purpose for my life.  Joy through the Cri is how I see my life at this time and for the future.  We have had a lot of tears in the past year (well the past 5 years) and through each of those experiences I know I am stronger and closer to the person God has created me to be.  He has purpose for each of those troubles we have all gone through.  

The first time I heard the words Cri du chat I felt a piece of my heart break.  It was all I could do to hold myself together in the doctor's office as he told me.  But as I got to my car I let my heart break wide open, right there in the front seat, knowing that God would pick up the pieces and put it back together.  "Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you shall glorify me" Psalms 50:15.  So I cried out to the Lord to comfort my heart and help me to see HIS purpose in all of this.  I felt sorry for myself that I would never see her walk down the aisle, that I would never see her have kids and many other worldly dreams.  As I started to drive home (after I called Bruce and regained some composure) I was stopped at a stop sign and these are the words I heard coming from my radio - 

Staring at a stop sign

Watching people drive by

T-Mac on the radio

Got so much on your mind

Nothing's really going right

Looking for a ray of hope

Whatever it is you may be going through

I know He's not gonna let it get the best of you

You're and overcomer

Stay in the fight 'til the final round

Your're not going under

'Cause God is holding you right now

You might be down for a moment

Feeling like it's hopeless

That's when He reminds you

That you're an overcomer

Mandisa - Overcomer 

I was reminded right then and there that God had created Annika, and all of us, for a higher purpose.  Not that I didn't feel sad or even cheated by the things my daughter would miss out on in this world, but I realized that the things of this world are temporary and our reward is in heaven and that is more important than anything this world has to offer.

Sounds like I totally have it together at this point.  So not true!  There are some days my heart breaks wide open again and I have trouble catching my breath.  So I cry out to the one who is greater than me and is greater than any genetic disorder (as the world says) and I hold to the truths that He has planted in my heart.  "Hear my cry, O God; Listen to my prayer.  From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me back to the rock that is higher than I , for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe......" Psalms 61:1-5

So, this is my Joy through the Cri.  Please join me if you would like to take this journey with us.  I know God will bless you in ways you haven't even imagined because that is what he has created us for.  I know my sweet Annika has a very special place in this world and at this time in history.  So, grab a Kleenex, wipe the tears from your eyes and see the joy and hopefulness and love surrounding you and your life and the fact that you get to have Annika as part of your life; because that is exactly how we feel.